Reflections on the pregnancy

Steve and I went out to grab lunch today, and we were talking about how incredibly fast it all seems to have gone. One day we were talking about trying to start a family, and now all of the sudden…that day is almost here. We’re thrilled and terrified at the same time. Life is going to change in a big way tomorrow. I’m not sure we’re totally ready for it yet, but we’re perhaps as close as we ever will be. We're anxious about the delivery but incredibly excited to meet our child.

In some ways, I’m a little sad that I won’t be pregnant anymore. Aside from my swelling and blood pressure anxieties, I’ve been a fairly lucky, happy pregnant woman. Watching your diet is a little irritating, but otherwise I don’t have many complaints. Keep in mind, I was blessed not to have morning sickness and I don't think my hormones raged out of control. (We'll ask Steve on that one). Regardless though, I think once you get to the point that you can feel the baby moving about, pregnancy is pretty cool. It’s fascinating to think how that little one’s developing and what’s going on inside you, and every movement is like a little inside joke between you and the baby.

I’ve had a few friends ask me for my thoughts or tips on being pregnant – what to expect and what not. Here are some notes on my experience in no particular order:

• Like most other life events, it sneaks up you. It seems so far away at first, like it’s never really going to happen. At 8 weeks, it was nearly impossible to imagine Week 20, Week 34. But looking back, it seems to have gone by in a flash.
• Every person’s pregnancy is going to be a little different. The same goes for your reactions to being pregnant. You can’t really change your personality, so it’s almost worthless to even try. For example, I over research and analyze things, so I did that with every little symptom and decision. But preparing for the worst and being pleasantly surprised when better things happen is how I do things. Perhaps I worried too much but along with prayers to the big guy upstairs, it’s my way of trying to deal with the uncertainty and feel some sense of control.
• At the same time, you have to realize certain things are beyond your control. Try not to get too attached to any idea of how labor or delivery is going to go. I did a lot of research and came up with a pretty specific birth plan, and I’ve struggled with letting it go these past couple weeks as circumstances have changed. When we thought I was going into labor a month ago, things were going to be done much differently than tomorrow. But ultimately, getting the baby here safely and both of us being healthy is what matters.
• Your body isn’t really your own at some point. You really can’t push it too much and you may not be able to do everything you used to. That can be incredibly frustrating in some ways. I worked out at the gym until my 7th month, but I had to give it up in the end.
• Your sleep isn’t really your own either and that starts months before the baby arrives. Hormones made me a night owl during the second trimester. By the third, I was sleeping through most of the kicks, but they were keeping Steve awake some nights.
• Don’t count on getting much done in the third trimester. Give yourself plenty of extra time to get things ordered and set up if it's important to you to be totally ready. Things will go wrong. The crib may get damaged in shipping. Complications may pop up – from bedrest to exhaustion to just not being able to walk easily – and you may not be able to handle as much as you’d like.
• And if things do go wrong and things aren’t 100% ready, don’t worry about it too much. All the baby really needs is a place to sleep, loving parents, and nourishment, right?
• At some point, you will cede certain aspects of your personal style to the pregnancy. Comfort reigns supreme when your body is already uncomfortable. I never thought I would wear Croc flip-flops to presentations with directors, but at some point…it’s either that or hiding at home under a rock. And surprisingly, they seem to understand when your ankles look like they are about to explode.
• Your support system means a lot, whether it’s your spouse or family or friends. Even if you have all the confidence in the world in things going well, it’s still an uncertain time. I have an amazing spouse who has done everything he can to make this time easier on me and that has helped a lot. But neither one of us would have enjoyed doing this alone. Your phone calls and notes and support have meant the world to us, and I hope everyone realizes how grateful we are for your presence in our lives.